Wives that put husband on back burner (stay @home wives)?
How many of you have wives who hardly ever have dinner ready for you when you get home, drags there feet on all chores around the house such as laundry or just simply keeping the house neat. I don’t ask or expect our home to be immaculate, and for the most part it is neat. As for being clean the house normally is. I work 6days a week and put in 10 to 12 hours each day. When I get home I am starving since I don’t get breakfest, and more often than I like, no lunch. I have to wake my wife up if I want breakfest, even though I have two alarm clocks going off in the wee hours of the morning, she barely notices the sound effects, unless it’s the cell phone alarm going off. Well once I get up, I make coffee, scramble to find something to ware to work then off on my 1hr and 1/2 commute to work. I am the sole bread winner in our home, and I take care of our household bills, but I also have kick $$$ obligations that are not mine which was created by poor decisions on wifey’s part, plus kicking out dollars time to time for my wifes kids on things such as school cloths. I don’t mind that, but anything beyond that pushes my $$$ to it’s limits. Seems like I am always living paycheck to paycheck even though I make just enough money to take care of the morgt. and utilitiy bills with very little for anything else. I feel that any woman who is a stay @ home gf/wife should do everything in her powers to take care of her husbands needs. I feel that one day soon I will simply crack due to stress or health problems from not eating or resting properly. And yes to any who wants to know, I take and make the time to family activities and makes myself available for quality time with my wife. So basically what I am saying I am covering my ends, but the better half needs to get with the program. One kids lives with us and goes to school everyday so other than soap operas or the flipping online games, I am scratching my head and asking myself what is your problem.
Wife doesn’t work, nor is she making any serious efforts to work out side of our home. I do clean, and I do cook, but only when I have a whole day off). I also do laundry or atleast start it. I don’t expect her to wait on me hand and foot, but she certainly expects me to wait on her hand and foot. For example, I am laying in bed watching TV and waiting to fall asleep, she’ll be on the computer and be wanting me to get out of bed and go get cigs or coffee or beer or something to snack on. Once I get home I may go straight to bed after I get something to eat and that depends on how exhausted I am. I do alot of physical work. I am the sort of person that wont ask anyone to do anything for me unless I have to. I depend on my wife to take care of me and I just don’t feel that I am being cared for in the areas that I really need her to take care of for me. When ever I try to talk to her about any of this, the feed back I get is that I am just bitching.
FYI: I don’t want a slave, I don’t want a maid, I want a wife that take cares of her man. I take care of all the yardwork @ home and move all heavy items my wife asks me to. Call me old fashion if you like, but if the rolls were reversed, I’d bet some of ya ladies/wives would not like coming home to no dinner or have to wait two hrs b4 dinner is ready.
I open all doors for my wife or atleast try to get to the door b4 she does, I message my wifes back, head and feet when asked or simply do it because I knw it makes her feel better. All I know is this as far as being fair, I will do all any anything asked of me, I only asked to be treated the same if not better. And since I don’t feel like I am given the same in return I feel very short changed on the matter entirely.
When I say I take time to do family things I really mean it like that. For example, swimming, park visits, dinner out, movies, attending social get togethers as a family. etc….
We only have one school age child living with us. The kid is 8 and if caught making a mess is made to clean it up or else. I’m constantly on everyone to turn the lights and tv off when no one is in the same space and thats an everyday thing.
Tagged with: alarm clocks • bread winner • cell phone • chores • coffee • enough money • health problems • household bills • laundry • living paycheck to paycheck • lunch • online games • paycheck to paycheck • poor decisions • quality time • soap operas • sound effects • stay home • stress • wee hours
Filed under: Home Alarm Systems
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I agree with you somewhat when I had my kids I was on the ball. Now the kids are grown and I work overnight and take care of the grandkids I have no energy I say make her get a job if you need help to make ends meet and she should have something for you to eat at least for dinner there are so many meals you can make that are quick and I know the whole thing of meal planning can drive one crazy but I did it for alot of years so you deserve something to eat working those long hours as for my house its cluttered but liveable with all knic knacks my husband loves me and has put up with for twenty five years almost twenty six you take the good with the bad. I use to work two and three jobs and he was in the navy I just cooked and cleaned pretty much was mom and dad a while sometimes its just better to do things yourself but your wife can do better than this or get a job if there were very small children at home I could see that well you are the one who has to talk to her not us hope things get better
What you are describing is life for most of us. Your view is off a bit. I wash my own clothes,as does she,i cook sometimes,as does she,i clean , as does she. Share the load at home. Get a maid if thats all you want from a women. Maybe its the attitude that needs adjusting.
Some wives simply aren’t up to the challenge of staying at home, raising kids, cooking and cleaning. It’s not the easy option you know. It’s very boring, frustrating and kids can be very stressful.
When I was at home I’d always cook dinner though and do the housework. I’d put the radio on for company and just get on with it. I wouldn’t make his breakfast though - that’s his responsibility. I wouldn’t wait on him hand and foot.
My husband has now been made redundant and I’m working more hours to support us. He does make a meal for me coming in, but the laundry and housework isn’t always done and it’s still me who carries the responsibility of seeing to the kids and shopping for food. I also get my own breakfast before leaving for work and I work 12 hour shifts.
You need to talk with your wife and explain to her how you feel, but if she hasn’t got it in her then nothing will change really. Running a home is no piece of cake and not everybody is capable or organised enough to cope with it.
pop in at home one day without any warning and see what you find her doing,it just might answer you question’s
LOL.. u dont want a wife u want a slave.. im curious if u were single, who would cook ur breakfast, lunch and dinner … oh thats right either you or u’d starve lol.. u’d still have to work, and then u’d have to clean up after urself, do ur own laundry , cook, paybills etc.. oh now how would u ever survive if u didnt have your wife do whipe your azz for you lol..
My husband , not as bad as you , but he use to say, how he’d love to be a house husband that he’d have the house hold whipped into shape, etc.. until he got laid off of his job, and i went to work, he lasted 2 weeks as a house husband.. complaining how, " i just cleaned this room and its already a mess" or " i just did a load of laundry and the laundry baskets already full" or "forgetting that the children needed help with homework while he was trying to make dinner and getting frusterated cause he couldnt multitask.. needless to say he realized being a housewife, isnt what is all cracked up to be.. u dont get a vacation your on duty 24/7..
Your wife is not your mother, u want a mother go back and live with your mother she is already the mother to "children" that actually need a mother.. And while your scratching your head.. i have to wonder u mentioned she has kids from a previous relationship, im curious does her x pay child support on these kids.. because if not she needs to enforce that, but if so , then all the money isnt just from you going into the house hold and if she’s already bringing in an income through child support, then if u keep whining she would be smart to go get a job and do it "ALL" herself because at this point the only luxuary she has is she doesnt have to leave home to go clock in somewhere, if she did she mine as well be on her own cause she does everything else herself..
So your one of those men.. that just want to have to go to work, and thats where your obligations end lol.. yet complain when everything else in life isnt served to them on a silver platter.. lol welcome to the real world.. lol.. go live with ur mama until u grow up and become a real man.. she doesnt need a little boy with a paycheck she needs a real man in her life, and in her childrens life, not some pathetic loser that complains because he actually might have to make his own food lol.. how sad.. lol..
to the answer beneath me.. i also do things for my husband, but not because i "HAVE" to, its because " I WANT TO" and he does things for me in return.. if it ever became an expectation or a "have to situation" id stop.. its called mutual respect and appreciation.. not "obligation"
I’m a housewife and I actually agree with you. I always make sure my husband is fed. If he needs coffee a drink etc….. I get it for him Also not because he makes me but I feel he is always working all the time I think your wife should appreciate that you let her stay home. I think you should have a talk with her and tell her. I think she should be blessed to stay at home. I wish more women would I also wish women would stop being lazy and take care of there husbands as they do for us. Sorry calle me old fashion but women these days don’t know how to take care of there husbands they are simply lazy these days.Women have became so selfish and think men should do everything for them. Good luck
To the women above me. Even If she gets child support that doesn’t cover rent,food,clothes,etc…… He still puts his money towards her and the kids. I’m sorry but she should be doing more. Also his wife should cook and clean. Doesn’t mean he wants a mom. I swear that’s what i’m talking about women like this give us good women a bad name . Women have became so lazy then they wonder why there husbands cheat.
First, understand the cause and effect. Why do you go to work? To get PAID. Now, don’t get me wrong, you are most likely thinking yeah to support her. Right? But, wrong. If you are this responsible guy, you would still be working without her. Now, does this mean that it doesn’t count for something, no, not at all.
Next, what kinds of family activities are we talking about. See, my husband believes he is spending family time with us when he is home. He either puts a movie on that the children are not allowed to watch or sits in front of the computer. None the less this is not family time. He also believes that quality time with his wife falls under the same category as family time. When I tell him I could use a break from the kids he says I’ll take them outside so you can get the house cleaned. Meanwhile the little ones are running in and out needing help with wiping and washing hands.
Now let me ask you if you get annual raises? I am sure you do. I wouldn’t to much like it if my employer didn’t give me a cost of living raise at the least.
Overall, it sounds like you feel as though you are being used. I must say that she may not be giving where credit is due, but you might not either. She might not be making money but surely she is saving the family money, right? Is she getting credit for that? Look, I am not saying that your job is easy but neither is hers. I as a stay at home mom have my moments. I am very structured when school is in but in the summers I am very relaxed. I let alot of the housework slide so I can be outside with the kids. Maybe now that school is back in she will get with it? Woman need love and understanding and men need respect. The less one gives, the less the other feels it. Maybe she feels your frustration and thinks whats the point?
I lost my job there are no jobs in Michigan. I do all the house work i used to mow the lawn until his dad gave us a riding lawn mower now my husband mows the yard. My husband cooks sometimes. he does not like to eat right when he gets home from work at 4:00pm so some times when i start to get dinner ready he takes over. In the winter i would shovel the driveway but we bought a snowthrower. i will still go out and shovel the driveway at times. not all stay at home wives are lazy. i take care of my husband even when he is not sick i babysit to make some money.
I gave up a career to be a SAHM. I admit I watch one soap opera daily but I don’t sit idly. I prep for dinner during that time. Meals are ready when everyone arrives home whether it is something as simple as left over spaghetti or as elaborate as Stuffed Chicken Marsala or Rolauden. I don’t make any breakfasts during the week but make sure that there are things that are quick and easy for everyone to grab in the mornings. My husband often misses lunch at work so he looks forward to a meal when he comes home. This is not a lot for him to expect. This won’t be a popular answer but the truth is that there isn’t any reason a working spouse should have to come home and do extended chores if there is an at home wife. There is more than enough time to keep up with everything if it is done daily limiting accumulation. This doesn’t mean that she is a slave so the family picking up after themselves is the decent thing to do.
You are not bitching. You are right to expect this. Unfortunately, your wife is lazy. I imagine she is ignoring your needs in the bedroom as well. She may be depressed or have some other health related issue that is sapping her energy.
She needs to decide if she is your partner or your "pet". If you do everything for her then what do you need or want her for.
Women like her give SAHM’s a bad name.
i stay at home… my house is never clean. its not like i don’t try but i clean everything up and by the time hubby gets home the kids have destroyed it again. i go to the bathroom and come back and the living is destroyed. my husband didn’t believe me for the longest time about the cleaning part until i left one morning for a few hours to do somethings and get a break from the kids and it was horrible. its not as easy as some people think. i do have dinner cooked most nights but not always, but we call for pizza or something like that. if the kiddos are in a bad mood i can’t do anything i blink and everything is everywhere. a 3 year old and 2 year old work quickly. not enough time in the day to do everything. the time i clean the most is when their down for nap, but then i can’t vacuum. i hardly ever make breakfast for hubby. i have sleep problems and don’t fall asleep until 2 or 3 at the earliest, to then get up at 5 to make him food not gonna happened. i do once in awhile but that’s then all the sleep i get. took awhile but he knows now if i am sleeping just let me. less bitchy that way. i do expect him to do some things around the house which he never does. taking out the trash and diapers are to much for him. i do everything in this house and i never get a break any more. he doesn’t spend time with the kids, or even change their diapers anymore. i get to work 18 hour days and no break ever. has she just started doing this or has it always been this way? maybe she just wants a break for once. and just zoning out during the day is the only way she can get a break.